Monday, February 4, 2013

Today I Have To Learn Italian...

Imagine this...you have an endless to do list. You make a habit of waking up two hours before you have to leave to go somewhere so that you can sufficiently have a moment of peace and quiet before rushing off to start another day filled with countless activities....wash, rinse, repeat. Day in and day out you are always, ALWAYS active. Suddenly you are transported into a different world. A world where stores close from 12:30-3:30pm. A world where your normal to do list suddenly makes no sense at all. A world where you cannot drive. A world where you don't speak the same language. A world where your body decides to rebel against normal functionality because...well..things just don't make sense here. Awesome.

The last week in Italy has been wonderful, trying, difficult, beautiful....(insert various contradicting adjectives of this sort here). I'm understanding much more of the language than I did just a week ago and can somewhat muster a response longer than, "Si!" or "Bene!" or "Grazie!" So yes, things have begun to look up, but there was still sort of a dark cloud looming over the whole picture. That is until the lovely Antonietta said something to me at church. We were discussing the difficulty of adjusting to a new schedule when you make some significant change of life. A lot of the conversation (through translation, thank you Marco) revolved around time and to do lists. First, it was a great comfort to know I wasn't the only one who got so crazy with the idea of having no normal schedule or list. After some time of sharing exasperated tales, she said, "Instead of waking up and thinking, 'I have nothing to do!' think, 'Today, I have to learn Italian!' and suddenly your whole day is full!" 

Simple as that. Today, I have to learn Italian. Benissimo! 

Well ok, it's not that simple. There is this deep underlying lesson that God is making crystal clear to me right now in this time. A lesson that I think is so key and simple, in theory, to the base of living a life of faith. It's the lesson of Dependence vs. Independence. When we make that jump into a life of faith, we are commanded to claim complete dependence on God. Total. 100% surrender. (enter O-Town's "'Cuz I want it all, or noooothiiing at all!!) How in the world are we, people who so easily make our own schedules and follow our own ways, supposed to just drop our nets of fish, to do lists, or whatever and follow? How does one go from complete independence to total DEpendence? I don't know. Honestly. But right now, I'm learning. Like crash-course, make it or break it, just get it lesson. God help me please...

I may not have a schedule or list right now, but I have time to learn. I have time to adjust and listen and just BE. It's rare that we are given these moments to be still and understand the purpose of these times in our lives, but I am realizing now...I have them. I have the time and the space. And my oh my what a beautiful space it is.

So for today, I have to learn Italian...

Marco 8:34-35
"Chiamata a sé la folla con i suoi discepoli, disse loro: "Se uno vuol venire dietro a me, rinunci a se stesso, prenda la sua croce e mi segua. Perché chi vorrà salvare la sua vita, la perderà; ma chi perderà la sua vita per causa mia e del vangelo, la salverà."


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