But...what do you do?

"So, what exactly will you be doing?"

"Now, what is that you do?"

Questions so familiar and common, I believe most individuals will base their identity on their current to-do list. Job description, education, qualifications, experience. No longer discussing passions and purpose, but instead pulling out their resumé and firing off the list. I'm certainly guilty of it! In a society where priority and value is often assigned according to how one answers these questions, it has become more and more automatic to live and act off of your to-do list and resumé.

In recent conversations with fellow missionaries here in Italy we've greatly discussed the emphasis placed on one's "missionary to-do list" with some sadness of heart. It seems as though, even in the church, there is great emphasis on the "to-do list." If it does not meet certain qualifications, the value of the mission is decreased. However, when one is without doubt called into the mission field - whether in a highly developed western country or in a seemingly primitive third-world country - shouldn't the excitement and support be equally enthusiastic? After all, we live in a world severely in need of a Savior, bottom line. As believers we anticipate the return of Christ. Oh, that glorious day when...

"Violence shall no more be heard in your land, devastation or destruction within your borders; you shall call your walls Salvation, and your gates Praise. The sun shall be no more your light by day, nor for brightness shall the moon give you light; but the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. Your sun shall no more go down, nor your moon withdraw itself; for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of mourning shall be ended."

Isaiah 60:18-20

As believers we all play a part in bringing the world to its knees, recognizing the need for a Savior. As His children, we all have been given gifts that are a part of this grand mission. These gifts are part of our identity as His children. More than what we do, it is about who we are and how we are living for the Kingdom of God. 

For example, a dear friend of mine is a mother of three. She is here serving God with her husband and children as a missionary. Her mission? Serving her family. Meeting other mothers at the park for play dates. Meeting with me a few times a week to fellowship and exercise. Keeping a clean home. Sharing her story with others in the community. Meeting for coffee with a few women before heading to Italian class once a week. The joy that this "get-to" list brings this family overflows and has had a great impact on this community...in less than one year! A walk normally five minutes in length takes 30 minutes simply because of the relationships they have built with so many in this valley. Praise God!

So, what am I doing here? I get to dance with people whose "Religious Views" status on Facebook says "Hahahahahaha". I get to learn Italian. I get to have coffee with fellow missionaries as well as the occasional aperitivo with another dancer who would honestly be considered a modern day communist. I get to workout and fellowship and pray at the same time with a fellow American and mother of three. I get to celebrate the birthday of and pray for a young believer in the church. I get to share my passion for dance and teach some of the youth in the valley. I get to spend time with my fiancé and learn how to do life with him. And yes, I live in one of the most physically beautiful places in the world (secondo me...in my opinion)...

But it is also one of the most spiritually dark places in the world. A few facts and figures...

• in Turin, just one hour from where I live, exists the largest satanic worship temple in the world
• in Europe, there are fewer than 2% genuine followers of Christ - many are looking to atheism, black magic or witch craft in this continent considered to be "post-Christian"
• an "unreached people group" is considered an area where there are fewer than 2% genuine followers of Christ in the population

Huh...interesting. 

So, what are we doing here? 

"Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." 

James 1:27

At least that is our hope. That is my hope. My heart aches for the women I get to dance with. For the youth that do not yet know the hope they have in Christ. These people who do not yet know that they are not, in fact, orphans or widows, but precious children of the Savior King. 

I would ask now that you would join in prayer for unity in the body of Christ as we all strive for this goal. Prayer for God to be always preparing the way to reach the unreached, and open the eyes of the closed. Prayer for clarity as we all forge ahead on this journey - whether that be in the form of "to-do" or "get-to." And finally, that God would speak to the church world-wide, to support those out in the field seeking to serve the lost. 

Thank you so much for all of your prayers and support. And praise God for the relationships that have been formed already! He is here and moving, but the work is not done. Greater things will be done here!

April Showers...and flowers...and food

Spring brings lots of new things. And there is a reason the saying is "spring into life." So, for lack of words sufficient to describe everything happening in life, I give you the illustrated version. Buon appetito...

Happy Birthday or "Auguri!" Tesoro!

I give you the Italian Man Burger -

gorgonzola and pancetta nestled inside a juicy patty...

yum

these two pictures represent my first meal on the balcony of spring... a delicious salad of blood orange, carrot, radicchio and fennel...with a few other things thrown in for fun and flavor. That is Mt. Vandolino in the distance...made for a glorious day.

 we got another rain yesterday after a whole week of gorgeous sun...the flowers still provided some glorious light and color on my walk home though...

 and these two pictures represent my latest culinary accomplishment -

chicken roulade stuffed with gorgonzola and balsamic-rosemary glazed leeks...

part of learning the importance of cooking as a future wife...

challenge accepted...

In the midst of questions and frustrations and fervent prayers, God continues to remind me of His incredible power and love. 

Visa issues? Don't worry. I got you.

Birthday? Be ready for anything - it will be awesome.

Late trains? Hah...ain't no thang!

Dance stuff? Oh dude...it's on. You won't even know what hit you.

Visa issues? Nope, not here. I'm staying.

Birthday? Hello, turkish bath and sauna day with Tesoro.

Late trains? We caught the next one with one whole minute to spare.

Dance stuff? June is just around the corner...time to start choreography.

I don't know why I ever doubt or act surprised when something completely God and completely awesome happens. Duh it's awesome...He's GOD!!! And does He ever change? NOOOO!!! So why do I keep looking for something different from Him? Boohh...non lo so. 

But praise His most awesomely PATIENT Name forever.

Word.

a God plan...

Yep, we're back here again. Agendas...calendars...updates...meetings...

All good in theory. But remember...I'm in Italy.

And it's spring. Which means even the weather is fickle. Awesome.

This last weekend my "plan" was to go to Rome for an event bringing awareness to the global problem of human trafficking. The film Nefarious (here for more info: Nefarious Documentary) has been making a worldwide tour and had its final stop in Rome this weekend. A group of fellow artists had been working on a street drama to attract people before the three screenings that would be happening at a local theatre. I had been asked to be a part of this drama, as well dance in the theatre before each of the screenings. Incredible opportunity! I was stoked. I knew which dance I was doing, I had created a character for the drama, I had looked at train tickets and was about to buy them when I received the "WAIT!!!" In the enthusiasm I hadn't really stopped and asked if this was a God plan. Sure it was a good plan...I mean hello! Arts, human trafficking awareness, a train adventure to Rome...sweet deal. But, was it God's plan? Apparently not. As more information was revealed I realized that I would have been abandoning commitments here in the valley. Commitments that had CLEARLY been an answer to prayer upon coming here. Not that going to Rome would have been a bad thing...from what I have read, God absolutely rocked this weekend through this event! There were lots of hurdles that came up. One being a transportation strike on Friday and Saturday. Who knows if I would have been able to even get there!

God is teaching me a lot about asking Him first. It's so easy to become blinded by enthusiasm, a need to please, an inability to say "no;" we often miss that moment, or opportunity to commune with God and find out what He wants. We have His promise that what He has is better than what we could even imagine! Shouldn't that be reason enough to ask Him about everything? I mean...think about how much more rockin' that rockin' outfit would be if you asked God what to wear first. Ok, sure that may be a stretch, but also, why not make it that much of a practice in your life. So that every single decision you make comes from Him. He gave us these brains with which we make all of our plans, so shouldn't we include Him on them too?

I pray that we would no longer be blinded by enthusiasm and short-sightedness; busyness and fear, but that the one who gave us the freedom to choose and plan would be the consultant for it all.

"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit' - yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.'"
James 4:13-15

5 Marzo 2013

On this day, someone very special to me turns 29. This is a person that I can honestly say the Lord brought into my life without my knowing. He was preparing my heart in a way that I was unaware of until that fateful day last year when the pieces fell into place. I guess you could say it was the Father's birthday gift to me. Or a going away present. Whatever the "category," I found myself humbled at His feet for this particular present...

At my surprise birthday party last year...

the "heck no I will NOT dance face"

To be honest, it took some coercing from the Lord for me to believe this was actually a gift that was good, timely, and unique...and lasting. This was no joke. I was told during this time that, "Sure, God has a sense of humor, but He doesn't joke with our hearts." Wise words..truth, baby. I have never had God speak so clearly and honestly through one of His children as He did through this one. Let me tell you, there were many conversations that went something like this...

him: enter wise words here

me: enter awkward "are you serious, God?" laugh here

him: "But why you are laughing?"

me: Oh nothing...God is just really funny that's all.

him: "But why you say this?"

and so on....

One day in particular when I was really wrestling with this reality of all this, the Lord gently lead me to this verse...

"The Lord bless you and keep you;

the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you;

the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace."

It came with the reminder, "I do actually Love you this much, daughter! And I want to give you good things. Why can't you accept my gift?"

Ouch. Like tears, on my knees, humbled BIG TIME. Humbled, but so incredibly thankful. I was now able to walk forward, totally, 100% sure of this gift. I didn't have to look back...ever. When the enemy reared his ugly head of doubt or fear I could say with total confidence, "Um...heck no, techno fool!"

All this to say, God is the giver of good gifts. He delights in giving good things to those who love Him. It brings Him joy when we accept His gifts. But He also wants us to give these good things back to Him...when we can honestly say, "God it's yours!" Personally, feeling totally inept to take care of this gift has definitely helped in this process. Not that it's been easy. Nor has it been anything I really ever could have imagined for myself (the whole "no long distance" thing? Yep...out the window...). But, my oh my, it has been good. Very, very good...

his first time in Disneyland (Sept. 2013)

So my love, caro mio, Tanti Auguri!!! I love you with as much love as is possible and look forward to celebrating many, MANY more birthdays with you...yes, they will be celebrated every year...deal with it. 

"I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil. 1:6

National Peanut Butter Lover's Day

I don't think this is an Italian holiday...in fact I'm absolutely sure it isn't because it is "national" not "international"...

Technicality....

However, for all of my peanut butter loving friends, I would like to say a belated "Happy PB Lovin' Day!!!" to you! And for it I present you with the most amazing peanut butter cookies EVER. Why you ask? Because I don't like peanut butter cookies. And I once seriously helped Jill McAfee wipe a plate of these babies clean...

Oh and PS...there's only 3 ingredients...

not the best view, but trust me..they're amazing

On behalf of all the peanut butter lover's out there...I raise a cookie in your name...buon appetito!

3 Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies

makes about 2 dozen 

adapted from Gluten Free Fix

• 1 cup peanut butter (whatever version you prefer)
• 1/2 cup honey*
• 2 egg whites (or one egg)*
• 1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips (optional...and would make these 4 Ingredient not 3...technicality)

Ready? 

Preheat oven to 325F (or about 162C for my European friends).  Mix all of the ingredients together in one bowl. Scoop by tablespoon onto parchment lined baking sheet. Bake for 15-18 minutes depending on how soft you like your cookies. Us Americans preferred a nice soft interior while caro mio preferred the slightly crispy version. Now grab a glass of milk (or vino...) and mangia!!!

*to make these vegan, simply substitute the honey for agave and the eggs for one ripe, mashed banana. 

Dancing Feet...

It's strange...when you really love something and is so much a part of your life that it's almost like breathing, it is always a part of you. It becomes more than just something you do. It becomes the language you speak, the food you eat, the music you hear, the colors you see. It starts to permeate every part of your existence.

When we find something like this, I think it is easy to begin to force this thing to grow and thrive. We start looking for ways to make things happen..to incorporate it into every single part of ourselves. I don't believe this to be wrong, necessarily. But I do believe it can become an obsession that is so fierce, this thing that was once natural and organic becomes fake and unfulfilling. When we attempt to take control of this thing, we can stunt its growth and make it less than what it was originally intended to be.

So what happens when we step back and see it again for what it was intended to be? When we go back to the start and remind ourselves of the joy and fulfillment with which we were filled when this gift...this thing...was first discovered? That all depends on you. For me? When I stepped back and let the Creator of this love take the reins again, stuff started to happen. Real stuff. Not stuff that seemed like the original but turned out to be empty and unfulfilling. Real. Live. Stuff.

Dance happened. He moved my feet and I let Him. Well, I'm still letting Him. It's a process..."a marathon, not a sprint" as someone once told me. And no, running is not a part of this...I still think I'm allergic to running...

I started fearing that I was losing dance. That it was going to go away and all of these years of thinking it was part of me were gone...it was time to move on. Not true. It was simply time to let go.

Anxiety and stress does nothing to help. Nothing. For anyone. Let it go.

Fine.

Then the Source reminds you of why you have this thing in the first place. Where it came from. What it needs to grow and be most alive. What it's all about.... Well?

Last year during the school I met a wonderful woman named Chiara. A dancer. We did a couple of events together with the other dancers and absolutely found our common ground in dance. Over the year, we kept in touch...a few emails here and there (complete with bad Google translations). When I found out I would be coming back to Italy even with the school not happening, I sent her an email. Was there anything I could do to help her? Any dance opportunities she knew about? Etc, etc...

Yes, in fact there were. This past Saturday, over a glass of wine, with the translation help of my darling, tesoro, something started to glow again. Dance became the language barrier breaker. The friendship had been formed via a common gift and love. There was purpose in this connection, we all knew that last year. We found a common ground and beyond that, I see something...I can't fully explain it, but there is something in her that is searching. Like she's looking for more, but not quite sure what "more" is. Dance is a way for people to connect. People who don't speak the same language or come from the same training still find an unspeakably strong bond through dance. Ask any dancer. It creates and relationship and understanding that goes beyond the surface. It gets into the deep places beyond words. Chiara and I haven't needed a lot of words in order to understand each other. Honestly, there aren't a lot of words we can share. But the One who gave us both dance...this thing that permeates every part of our being...has decided it necessary for our paths to cross. Maybe it's as a reminder for both of us. A reminder about the Source of this love. For me, I'm here, in a foreign place. Not for the original purpose I thought. Currently not sure of my role. Not sure of much at all. But certainly not forgotten. I think I see that now...again. For her, she's working her tail off with two daughters and a dog...on her own...to keep this dance business afloat. She is doing this on her own.

But now, I am here looking for a purpose. However, I can't actually have a "real job." Good, because she can't actually pay much..if anything. She needs help. She needs someone who has the same vision. Someone who wants to share a love of something. I don't know if either of us know what it will look like. Right now there are projects and other relationships that need be built. But the foundation is laid. The connection has been established and....we get it. There's something more to this thing. It has permeated both of our lives and is bubbling over. It needs to grow and the time is here. Spring is just around the corner after all...

Please keep Chiara and this friendship in your prayers. It is a really exciting ministry opportunity as well as an opportunity to connect with a bigger dance community here. I have already done one workshop with her (traditional southern Italian dance...awesome) and this coming Saturday her and I and two of her friends from dance in Torino are going to dive into the world of vertical dance (like hanging from the ceiling...really awesome). She's got some great vision for bringing dance into the valley for the people, but she needs help. God is up to something with this friendship so please be praying that His purpose would be the driving force behind it all. It will be a beautiful piece to watch unfold, as long as our Awesome Choreographer is in control!

Also, a few of us who are involved in the ministry I am here helping, met last night for prayer. There was a lot of encouragement for this relationship with Chiara as well as other ministry opportunities from other relationships that have been built. Currently, we are working with the local Salvation Army to organize weekly soup/pasta kitchen here in Torre Pellice. Tomorrow we are meeting with a man in Bobbio Pellice to discuss future sports camps, and Friday we are meeting with another representative from Salvation Army to discuss management of outreaches here in the valley. I am so excited to see how God is forming ministry opportunities and would love your support in prayer for continued opportunities as well as guidance for these that are already happening.

If you would like information on how you can give financially to support my ministry here please email me at dancinLo488@gmail.com. If you have questions about the way financial support works (since it is not connected with OM as it was previously) please do not hesitate to email me these questions as well!! Any and all support that we receive is so appreciated and recognized...the prayers are not in vain! You are all a part of this team and I want to make sure, as much as possible, that there is no confusion with what is happening.

Grazie mille tutti!!! Ciao...

One Year Later...

Here I am, back again in the beautiful Val Pellice...almost exactly one year later. Monday morning I was welcomed with a blanket of snow on the ground, much like the welcoming of last year...it's good to be home...

the view from my balcony...I know...

Upon arrival, Domenica sera, I moved into the flat I will be sharing with the dear Jill McAfee in Torre Pellice. Lunedi mattina brought a lovely jaunt into town to meet Marco for a cappuccino. And a surprise meeting with Chiara - she owns a dance studio here and we had connected during the school in Bobbio last year. As dancers, we were able to do some collaborations with her, and since leaving her and I had stayed in touch, discussing opportunities for further collaboration when I returned. Simply coincidental that we met on my first day back? I think not... God takes it again... This Sunday I am going to her studio to participate in a "seminario danza dal sud Italia" or "southern Italian dance workshop." Awesome. 

Let's trek back in time to the "today I have to learn Italian" lesson...starting tomorrow I will be attending local language classes twice a week here in town...for free. Amen and praise God yet again. Prayers for understanding are incredibly appreciated. 

Also, something that many of us school participants noticed last year was that during the few weeks before and the beginning of the school, there were a lot of incidences of family and friends suffering attacks and illnesses. I can see it happening again since returning and I want you all to know that you are in my prayers as well. I pray that God watches over each one of you and meets you where you are. Please, PLEASE email me with any requests or praises that are happening. Without you, I don't think I'd be here right now...let's fight this battle together. 

Also, I will be setting up an official email newsletter in this coming week so if you would like to get them, please either send me a facebook message, leave a comment on the blog, or email me (if you already have my address..I just don't want to put it publicly on here). 

At the end of the day, I can say...God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.