By this time, we've been to Rome/Latina, invaded the city with a flash mob (video available soon), fellowshipped with an awesome clown named Dario and his church, returned (thanks to our trusty van, Das) to Bobbio, and hit the ground running (or dancing, playing, sketching, painting...) Now we are less than a week away from our final exhibition (ahhhhh....FREAK OUT!) and a mere 12 days away from our final day in Bobbio. Oh and the fly population at Forterocca is multiplying by the thousands daily.
Say that 12 times fast, spin around in a couple of circles, jump in Torrente Pellice (the local river), - repeat upside down and you
might reach the place where we are all right now.
As we've been going through our final workshops, we've been looking at "the road back." Many (myself included) would rather run in the opposite direction than face that road, but alas, it is swiftly approaching and this hero's journey is entering the final act.
In addition to preparing our pieces for the exhibition we're all trying to process (a word we're all planning on banishing from our vocabulary after this experience) what God has been teaching us during these last almost two and a half months. To give all the details of what He has been saying to me would take two and a half lifetimes, and truthfully it isn't for all the world to know - it's between me and Him. But to give a little insight, here's the short version of how I got my childhood dreams back...
One morning before worship I went for a walk and asked God, "What do you want me to know today?" I then found a nice rock to sit on and create some space for Him to speak when I heard Him say, "It's time to get rid of the lies." And almost instantaneously the lies I had been believing most of my life surfaced as God led me through a rebuking of them all. Things like "planner", "controller", "fear of weight gain", "feminist", "rational", "sarcastic".... It was a hefty list, believe you me. I felt so free and strong! I told the enemy to shove, claimed victory in Jesus Name, and went on my merry way to worship. About 15 minutes into worship something hit me - I suddenly had no identity. I was nearly 24, but all of a sudden I was back as a small child with no agenda, doing cartwheels in a dress with her knickers showing to world...and I was scared out of my mind. After worship, our morning session began and I think I heard all of 5 words from that first hour (sorry Mat). We had a coffee break and when we returned my dear friend and dance mentor, Cheryl Vigouroux shared her testimony - then I lost it. I left the room and took residence in the handicap stall of the downstairs bathroom sobbing for the next hour and a half. During this time our wonderful student care leader, Erika Tello joined me and allowed me to spill my guts. In between the hysterical sobs and forced silences when people came in to relieve themselves, God gave me back three dreams that I had learned to suppress really well over the years...
- Dance in a professional company - and actually get to perform
- Marry my very own Prince Charming
- Eat a big ol' bowl of ice cream (or gelato...) without a single thought about the size of my waistline
There they are. And there I was crying like a child, feeling like a child, and having my childhood dreams restored. It was beautiful...
it was frightening...
it was freeing...
I wanted to do cartwheels in a dress with my frilly knickers out in the open as if to say, "Booyah world! I'm free!" It's a sad day when the world strips us of our true identity. The person God created us to be. Too often, as we "grow up" we grow out of our heart desires that God placed there the day He knit us together in our mother's womb. People tell us they are illogical, impractical, and we shouldn't get our hopes up so it's better to set those things aside because, by golly they just aren't realistic. But here's the thing...
Jesus called the children to himself and said, "I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will." (Matt. 11:25-26) David also tells us, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." (Psalm 37:4) We think we've got it all figured out. We make plans, organize agendas and meetings. We work out financial plans, make sure there's a safety net, and a steady job. Then sometimes we give these things over to God and ask His will be done. And this isn't to say that making plans or being financially wise or looking at the next logical step is bad...that's not what I'm saying at all! But what if, the first thing you did one day, before making your own plans, was to ask God, "What do You want me to know today?" Suddenly those things you thought were your heart's desires get wiped out and replenished from the Source with the desires He originally intended you to have...He knows us better than we know ourselves and He's just waiting to remind us...
Just make sure you've got your frilly knickers ready for the occasion because it's going to be a party...
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